Melina Gunnett

July 1, 2011

Zombie Duck Apocalypse

Filed under: Stories — Melina Gunnett @ 2:08 PM

Once upon a time.

All the good stories start with once upon a time. At least the one’s that end with happily every after do. I want a happily ever after, so Once upon a time…

There was a duck. At least everyone says it started with the ducks, except for Gumppa. He says Raven started it all. Gumppa is wise, so it probably was a raven. Anyway, it was a bird for sure.

So something happened to the ducks. A lot of folks say it was some government experiment gone wrong. I’ve heard a few people say some disease mutated. Some even say God did it. Whatever the cause, they started to become dumb and aggressive.

People didn’t really notice, because back then hardly anyone paid attention to things like wild ducks. So when the ducks migrated at the end of summer, the way ducks always do, it began to spread. Other birds started becoming angry and mean too. Pretty soon wild birds all over were attacking each other and anything else they thought they could hurt. They didn’t attack big things, like people though, so it took a while for anyone to notice.

Eventually some people, mostly birdwatchers, did notice.  Sadly, back then people didn’t pay much attention to birdwatchers, not like they do today. Several governments promised to look into it, but they were slow. Gumppa says that is because research costs money and they were tight-fisted buggers.

Thanksgiving was when things started to get bad. Some of the wild turkeys had been affected. In the America’s it was traditional to eat a turkey on Thanksgiving to celebrate the things you were thankful for and to remember what a sneaky, swindling cheat the government was.

Most of the rich, fancy people bought their Turkey at the supermarket. Supermarkets where huge buildings, some the size of a small village, where food from all over the world was brought for people to take home and eat. It is hard for me to imagine that much food in one place and how many people there must have been to eat it all.

Even with the big supermarkets, some people still hunted their own food and some of the turkeys they killed had been infected by the ducks. Those were the first people to become infected. Just like the ducks, they started to become dumb and more aggressive. It took people awhile to notice what was happening. Gumppa says this is because the fancy political types already thought most of the rednecks were dumb as rocks and ornery as pit bulls in heat. It started to spread though.

Z, that’s what they call it. Z is short for Zombie, because it makes people act like zombies from the old horror movies. Z spreads through the blood and it doesn’t take much. When an aggressive, zombied out person starts attacking other people there is plenty of blood to go around.

I hadn’t been born yet, back in the early days when people and animals first started tearing each other apart. Gumppa has a newspaper clipping from back then. The headline reads Zombie Apocalypse Hits New York. It talks all about the fighting and violence and the bad things people were doing to each other. He was a lobbyist in Washington, DC back then. He has pictures of what the city used to look like before Z. Now it’s mostly ruins.

People didn’t just tear apart each other, they torn down anything that got in their way. Gumppa said people just went crazy when they got Z. He once saw a businessmen in three-piece suit take a tire iron to his car, in the middle of the highway, because he ran out of gas. A lady, annoyed that his car was in the way, rammed the car and the businessman at full speed, starting a multi-car pile up.

I only saw someone infected with Z once. He had gone across the harbor to the Old City to rummage for useful things. He must have gotten infected while he was on the mainland. When he came back instead of docking at the port for inspection, he rode the skiff right up on to the beach and charged at the border warriors. They had to shoot him.

As soon as he realized what was happening,Gumppa tried to get my mom out of the D.C. and back to the island. It was almost time for me to come into the world. He did get them out of the city, but somewhere along the way mom got infected. Gumppa managed to restrain her long enough for her to give birth to me, but was forced to kill her. He said it was the hardest thing he ever had to do and he never wants to have to do anything like it again.

Still, I know he watches me, waiting to see if I will turn. No one knows what will happen with me. Wither I am infected, immune or just like everyone else. Gumppa says that I shouldn’t worry. That Raven has already had his joke, setting the world on itself so that mother earth could reclaim her own. He says that Raven took his sun, my mother but, as when Raven stole light for the sky, a sliver was split off in the skirmish. Raven let him keep the sliver, his personal moon, me.


I am Słukwálb (moon) Sampson and I really, really hope I get a happily ever after.


1 Comment »

  1. This is awesome!

    Comment by Columbine — July 1, 2011 @ 4:22 PM

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